A Comedy of Errors

Watching TV in Pakistan is akin to watching a 'comedy reality tv documentary sitcom' piece of programming. Unfortunately the boredom from watching one genre tends to bore viewers or perhaps not.



Apart from Headline News on just about every news channel, which I have no grievance with, the host of talk show programming from Hamid Mir, Talat Hussain Shaheed (just about since the Uncle survived the attack on the Palestinian aid flotilla), a transvestite Ali Saleem, a world class maniac Zaid Hamid, the 'Armageddon' specialist Dr Shahid Masoooooud (emphasis on the extra Os), Mr Faisal Qureshi of Bang-e-Dara (or is it Zara?) and of course numerous others who feature at different times of the day and night.



Now the subject and discussion of these talk shows is simple crap and BS to say the least. From featuring conspiracy theories and discussions to exclusive scoops with ex-generals, ex-ISI, ex-thinktanks, ex-economists, ex-ministers, ex-PIA, ex-Pakistan Steel, ex-Railways and so on and on. Now these glorymen of the past are sublime examples of tomfoolery and skulduggery! After having had their attempts on governance and having spent years and decades in power they are delighted to let loose their tongues which over the years have been seldom used (at least for good tasks).



These specialists come up with amazing examples of how, where, what and when various incidents in Pakistan's history have occurred and with all ulterior and interior motives diced and sliced by these 'honorable' men. So if these know-it-alls and see-it-alls were so gifted, whatever did they do for the good of the country and all those who reside in the Land of The (almost) Pure?

Moving on to a more serious protagonist - the politicians who feature on national prime, off prime and late prime TV - the Fauzia Wahabs, Babar Awans, Rana Sanaullah, The Lions of the Punjab - with recently transplanted manes, Gen. Hameed Gul (hes almost as powerful as God, Nauzoobillah), Mr Gilani with his powerful gestures and empty words, the great President himself (he deserves a separate post, cannot dilute him within this column), Salman Taaseer (apart from stalking and threatening girls on twitter) and a host of others. Now these people have repeatedly bungled on and off TV shows, in interviews, youtube videos - (remember the loving push and shove of Gilani and Ms. Sherry Rehman?) etc etc.





And then to top it all - they keep coming back for more?
From a viewers perspective watching the same people day in and out, with some rotation on channels and across different imbecile hosts all i can say is "yuck."

Perhaps its an attempt to de-sensitize the Pakistani "awaam", to immunize them to idiots so we can bear and tolerate even more of them. Or perhaps its a blatant drama, a comedy of errors, a comedy for those who produce and air it, while those who watch keep entering a quicksand - a quagmire of sand, frustration and even worse a future that is as dark as the faces who have have set it out for us.

May Allah Help us All, Inshallah and Ameen.


P.S.  I forgot to mention a madman and a religious sex symbol the clean, suave and cunning Dr Aamir Liaquat Hussain with his seductive tone of voice, the well cut beard, the flashy sherwanis and kurtas and the homicidal grin and close-ups. If men are him are the new religious expert then God help us all....His program should have been called "Jaahil Online"!

In the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man is King!

Choose the lesser amongst the two evils, something frequently referred to by people, wise and prudent people, on making a choice in a tough situation, a tough choice naturally.




In the context of Pakistan, my beloved country, the land of the Pure (its changed now) the choices all seem to be hinged around and on evil entities and people. Now I cant really classify people as good and evil, only the Gracious and Almighty Lord Has the Wisdom, Ability and Power to do that. My interpretation of evil comes in when people try their utmost best to hurt, damage, kill, destroy other people and all for their own self-interest and gain.

We have plenty of those around in Pakistan, certainly the land of the Pure has succeeded in breeding a lot of the impure kind, which seems fair since the only way to benchmark good is to make it stand with bad.
Somewhere along the way we forgot to stop the production of the bad and the evil - a probable result based on the ideology that was taught to the masses. In a lot of cases this was the resultant of the lack of an ideology, in our case Islam.
Power concentrated in the hands of a few leads to power abused, the few suppress many, the ones who know create fear, doubt, hate and suspicion in the minds and hearts of those who dont, the tall and fair rule over the short and dark, the Syeds superior to the non-Syeds, the Pirs and fake Sufi descendants over the regular motley of Muslims, the Muslims over the others....
The hierarchy of abuse continues, from one level to the next....and so on.

So what if we do have a choice? We do seem to have used choices in the past, made choices in tough times.
The problem is that choice requires democracy, certainly people over the last 40 years did not choose General Ayub, the disgraced and disgraceful idiot Gen. Yahya, the biggest idiot of them all Gen. Zia-ul-Haq, the larger than life liberalist and loud-mouthed Gen. Musharraf. These "Journals" did manage to increase FDIs, GDP growth etc. but in the end all that they brought was trouble and misery.



Coming to the choices we made - we chose the Sharif clan, the Bhutto clan at times. The former a legacy and stooge of the Great Afghani Jihad Russian Defeat and ISI Military Strategist Master Tactician General called Zia-ul-Haq, now respectfully buried in the Faisal Mosque - an act of charity by the noble Saudi King Faisal.
The latter started off with the Daughter of the East, the daughter of a man who was a great orator and a master at making talk - destructive talk which started off with the breaking away of East Pakistan and now Bangladesh. The daughter herself was talented, very forward looking and Pakistan-oriented, unfortunately the very nature of her daddys politics were inbuilt into her own system - the Sindhi feudal lord and Zamindar approach. Like father like daughter.



So there we go, we chose Benazir, we chose Nawaz Sharif and the same in quick and reverse order and then to honor the former we chose her better half (or is it worse?) and elected the party of probably the most corrupt men on this continent, if not the planet.

Am convinced now and with all certainty, that in the Land of the Pure and at times the Blind and those who turn the other Way, the One-Eyed Man is King. Only problem is that we haven't even been able to find the one-eyed man.


Keep walking and keep hoping...

May Allah Help us all!

The Bitter Truth about Sugar

As sugar prices rise and winter temperature falls a normal supply demand issue takes Pakistanis to the brink of yet another crisis.



This might not be a life threatening situation - this is not about terrorism, the Taleban, India, RAW, conspiracy theories, militants, the ISI or one of those many issues that have left us limping at best.

Its about the state of despondency that our leaders and caretakers have plunged us in, sugar is simply one of the many items on the list that keeps coming up time and time again. No controls, no protection, no common sense, no protecting the interests of the poor - its all about self-gain, greed and more greed.

The sugar mill owners, the land-owners, the agricultural barons and the politicians - they are all either from the same lobby or group if not playing these multiple roles.
The TCP blames the government, the government blames the TCP, then they blame the sugar-cane growers who in turn blame the mill owners, who then blame the wholesalers and middlemen for hoarding the product. Amidst all this pulling and pushing and shoving no one gives a flying f__k for the poor people caught in between who are being dealt blows, day by day, and week on week!



Pathetic but who cares, as long as the bellies of the rich and wealthy continue to grow, protrude and enhance at faster than normal rates its all good, all acceptable.
The current government, the leaders of now, are the choice of the majority, the tragic choice made by a people who tend to be more emotional than rational, perhaps thinking they were doing good karma with a leader who bit the dust in a rally, loved and hated at the same time.

It is with great sorrow that I announce yet another injustice that has prevailed and will continue to do so in the Democratic Islamic Republic of Pakistan controlled by the heirs of the Bhutto dynasty -  a dynasty that has brought untold misery and gloom into our state of affairs.
Maybe we deserve it, maybe we dont, the consequences of an action that was perhaps taken in haste.

Some friends, colleagues, and intellectuals claim that this is the price one has to pay for democracy after years of military rule and martial law domination. I hope that the price paid is not too high.......



Sugarly (for lack of a better word) yours,

Zeeshan